Going to the Extreme

When you are thinking about a situation, do you notice if your thoughts are going to the extreme?  Do you tend to catastrophize or assume the worst?  Do you often think in “What if?” terms?  If you said yes, you are not alone!   Most of us tend to think about the worst-case scenario when contemplating a problem.  And I…

Mental Health Awareness Month

May is Mental Health Awareness month.  So, I want to take this opportunity to help educate you about the signs of depression and to decrease the stigma of mental health by talking about it.  For purposes of this blog, I am going to focus on depression since it is the most common diagnosis and affects so many people.   I…

Time For Some Spring Cleaning!

Historically, Spring has been a time for cleaning out what we no longer want or need.  It is a time for deep cleaning our houses, clearing away the cobwebs and adding fresh air to our homes.  So why not take advantage of this renewing time of year to clean out what no longer serves us emotionally?  Yes, do some spring…

Team Work Makes The Dream Work

Team work makes the dream work, right?  We have all heard this saying.  But, you may be asking what does this have to do with relationships.  With Valentine’s Day approaching, this saying may help you give the gift of yourself to your partner and strengthen your relationship.   The Team For most of us, our significant other is the first…

Thoughts on #MeToo

It’s hard not to have any thoughts about #MeToo with all that is going on with the movement and the Supreme Court Hearings.  I’d like to take a moment to think about this in terms of how it affects individuals on a personal level and set politics aside.   When you hear a woman has claimed she has been sexually…

The UnGolden Rule in Relationships

Most of us are familiar with the Golden Rule – treat others the way you want to be treated.  And I would agree this is a great philosophy when interacting with most people.  However, I have found in my work with couples that this rule usually leads to frustration in romantic relationships.  Why, you might ask?  Doesn’t it make sense…

Give Me Some Self-Care

Self-care is a term being used a lot lately but what does it really mean? Merriam Webster dictionary defines it as “care for oneself.” Ok. But, what does caring for oneself mean? Basically, self-care means taking steps to make sure you are healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually. I can hear some of you already saying self-care is just being selfish.…

Fearing Fear

Have you ever wondered why we are so afraid of something different from ourselves?  It seems fear is the default emotion for things we do not understand or are not comfortable with.  This fear of what we do not understand is dangerous.  It leads to judgement and hate and divisiveness, which is why we should engage our fear rather than…


Greetings cyber friends!  It’s been awhile since I’ve posted.  The end of last year and the beginning of this year I have been dealing with some changes.  It got me thinking about the sayings “the only constant is change” and “the more things change, the more they stay the same.”  At first blush these sayings seem to be contradictory.  However, by taking a closer look, they may just be 2 different sides of the same coin.

Think about the movement of Earth.  It rotates, or spins, on its axis while at the same time orbiting the sun.  It does 2 things at once, yet both movements follow the same path.  So, what if our lives are like the Earth?

The Only Constant Is Change

We spin through the day, busy, busy, busy.  We talk about how fast time goes by. Just when we think we have life figured out, we get thrown a curve ball.  It seems we get settled into a routine and then some event occurs and we find we have to recalibrate our spinning.

Think about this for a moment; life is really about growth and development.  We are constantly going through transitions in life.  Start with children.  The speed at which children grow is stunning!  How often do you hear someone comment on how much a baby has grown or changed, from holding their head up, to rolling over, sitting, standing, crawling, walking?  How fast the time goes by.  Then comes kindergarten, elementary and high schools and then college.  We start our careers and families.  There is watching our parents age, losing grandparents and eventually losing our parents.  Life is constantly spinning and changing!  The only constant is change.

The More Life Changes, the More It Stays the Same

Now, let’s talk about the Earth’s orbit.  Imagine, if you will, the orbit of Earth is like the cycle of life.  Everyone is born, goes through the stages of childhood, adulthood, middle age and old age, finally dying.  We can recall the angst of junior high or the feeling of freedom in college.  We remember, fondly or not so fondly, our first significant others and being hurt.  We commiserate with one another and our children because we have been there.

Just like our grandparents watched their children grow up and become parents, our parents watched us grow up and become parents.  We became parents and watched our children grow up.  Our children continue the cycle by becoming parents and watching their children grow.  Each generation watching as the next generation cycles through the stages of life’s orbit.  This cycle has been repeating itself for eons.  The more life changes, the more it stays the same. 

So, what does this matter?  Maybe nothing.  Or, maybe this is an opportunity for us to reframe our view of life.  What if we embrace change as part of the journey?  What if we accept that the constant in life does not last and we simply enjoy the good times while they last?  What if we acknowledge that the difficult transitions are also part of the journey and they too will ebb and flow?  Ah…the possibilities.  What will you do?