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Shame, Shame, Shame

Shame is a small word.  There are only 5 letters in this word.  However, this small word sure can wreak havoc and cause HUGE emotional problems!  Shame is what we feel about ourselves when we feel we have done something terrible and feel badly about ourselves.  It can lead to self-loathing and a belief of not deserving forgiveness.  Humiliation, isolation,…

The Relationship Between Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviors

Have you ever wondered why you keep repeating a specific behavior or why you experience feelings the way you do?  If so, I am here to shed some light on this by explaining the relationship between thoughts, feelings and behaviors.  This is also known as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy – simplified.   First, let’s define these terms.  Thoughts are ideas, attitudes…

Do I Hear You Now?

In my practice I often hear couples complain about having the same conversations over and over. The same things get repeated and both are left feeling frustrated and unheard. This leads to emotional disconnect. Usually the reason for this is that both are focused on what they have to say, not on what the other is trying to express.  …

Going to the Extreme

When you are thinking about a situation, do you notice if your thoughts are going to the extreme?  Do you tend to catastrophize or assume the worst?  Do you often think in “What if?” terms?  If you said yes, you are not alone!   Most of us tend to think about the worst-case scenario when contemplating a problem.  And I…

Mental Health Awareness Month

May is Mental Health Awareness month.  So, I want to take this opportunity to help educate you about the signs of depression and to decrease the stigma of mental health by talking about it.  For purposes of this blog, I am going to focus on depression since it is the most common diagnosis and affects so many people.   I…

Time For Some Spring Cleaning!

Historically, Spring has been a time for cleaning out what we no longer want or need.  It is a time for deep cleaning our houses, clearing away the cobwebs and adding fresh air to our homes.  So why not take advantage of this renewing time of year to clean out what no longer serves us emotionally?  Yes, do some spring…

Team Work Makes The Dream Work

Team work makes the dream work, right?  We have all heard this saying.  But, you may be asking what does this have to do with relationships.  With Valentine’s Day approaching, this saying may help you give the gift of yourself to your partner and strengthen your relationship.   The Team For most of us, our significant other is the first…

Thoughts on #MeToo

It’s hard not to have any thoughts about #MeToo with all that is going on with the movement and the Supreme Court Hearings.  I’d like to take a moment to think about this in terms of how it affects individuals on a personal level and set politics aside.   When you hear a woman has claimed she has been sexually…

The UnGolden Rule in Relationships

Most of us are familiar with the Golden Rule – treat others the way you want to be treated.  And I would agree this is a great philosophy when interacting with most people.  However, I have found in my work with couples that this rule usually leads to frustration in romantic relationships.  Why, you might ask?  Doesn’t it make sense…